I Just Can't Live A Lie
by jonesy100000000
Summary: Another Rypay friendship songfic set to Carrie Underwood's song 'I Just Can't Live A Lie'.  Contains suicide. Please R&R. Copyright 07


A/N: Another Rypay songfic oneshot for you guys out there. It's supposed to be a Rypay friendship however I can see how you might possibly read this as incest although I could be wrong & it is only my mind that thinks that way. It's set to Carrie Underwood's song 'I Just Can't Live a Lie'. Please review for me & let me know what you thought, especially the ending scenes as I've never written that sort of scene. 

**Disclaimer: **I do not own High School Musical or any of the characters.

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I Just Can't Live A Lie

**Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you  
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier  
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange  
But I can't watch you walk away  
**

I know it's all for pretence. Just an act to see if we really could live without each other but when you walk past me I can't help myself but stop. Very soon you will be leaving and I wish that I could just turn away; if only to make it easier on us later but I can't. I know that the few times that we do speak, the hurtful words that we utter aren't true and that they are just a way for us to cope. It hurts me so much to say those things to you but we both know we have to. The reality is you will be leaving and I won't be going with you but if it's painful now then it's only going to get worse.

**  
Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?  
And all about the good times that we've been through  
Could I wake up without you every day?  
Would I let you walk away?  
**

Before all of this chaos happened we could just be normal twins but now we're being split up. Those good times that have happened will eventually fade away to memories as I will have to start my 'new' life on a blank page – without you. All the things that we've done together will never be able to happen again. I'm not sure that I want that to happen but how can I get you to stay? Mum and Dad say that it is a good thing for us to be separated as we can't always be together but what do they know? They are the ones that are getting divorced, not us.

**  
No, I can't learn to live without  
And I can't give up on us now  
**

I don't think that I will ever get used to being without you. For practice, I've been walking down the halls of East High on my own but it's not the same. It's weird not to have you by my side, being my constant. When I'm on my own people always come up to ask me what's going on and where have you gone, have we fallen out? They don't really care about us, they're just fishing for the latest piece of gossip on the drama king and queen. No-one truly cares about US, not even our parents who are supposed to. But then I guess our life has become a list of supposed to's. Maybe there is someway out there that means that we don't have to be separated. If I keep on believing that then maybe my wishes will come true.

**  
Oh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie  
**

I constantly try to tell myself that I will be able cope; that my life will carry on as usual, that I won't be changed by you moving away from me to practically the other side of the country. I know that I've promised to you that once you've left I will be alright but I think that you know different. You are, after all, my twin; who's supposed to stay with me until we mutually agree on our own terms when we separate.

**  
Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?  
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy  
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe  
The way you know just what I mean  
**

When I catch your eye I can't help myself but smile. If only for a brief moment, I can see what I truly mean to you and I'm pretty sure that the same can be said about you. When I 'accidentally' brush past me I can feel the electricity, we were meant to be together; we're twins. But no-one else seems to understand. Even if we pretend to the outside world that we can be separated that we aren't joined at the hip we can't lie to each other. Maybe it's the twin telepathy or instinct, but we've always known when the other is lying. When we first heard this news and you told me that we'd find a way through this you were just trying to be brave for me. Our parents believed you but I didn't. I knew you were just trying to be OK with it all for my sake.

**No, I can't learn to live without  
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now  
**

I know that I will never be able to adjust to a life without you in it at all. A least at the moment, while we're pretending, you're still there. It isn't the same. I know you say that if ever I have a problem then I am to call you right away no matter when or the time difference but it's not the same as to having your arms around me, comforting me, while I pour out all of my emotions into your chest.

**  
Ohh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie  
**

It's become my mantra, what I constantly tell myself. Sometimes it's so strong that I actually begin to believe it; that I will be able to cope when you're around. But the I catch a glimpse of you and suddenly I know more than ever that if there is anyone I need in my life then it is most definitely you. You make me, me. Without you I become half a person. I know that I can't carry on pretending.

**  
Ohh, and I don't wanna try  
**

I don't want to do this anymore. I can't pretend that I don't love you and that it doesn't bother me one bit whether you're here or not. The truth is I need you.

**  
Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie  
**

Most people would think that this would be easy. To them it doesn't look like I even recognise your presence any of the time so the thought of me actually missing is probably mind-blowing to them. Over the last few weeks, we've probably just confirmed those facts but I don't care about them; None of them. I just want you; I need you. I can't live without you and to pretend otherwise would be foolish because we both know that I can't live a lie.

**  
I just can't live a lie **

But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Oh, I can't live a lie 

**Oh, I can't live a lie**

The sun streamed through the windows and rested on the front pews of a church, specifically illuminating two people sat there slightly separated from everyone else; the parents who shouldn't have to be doing this. The church was unusually full; people were having to stand out the doors because there was no room inside. Most people were either in crying or still shock. No-one had realised or even known of what was inevitably going to happen. Even if they had known they wouldn't have understood. That was the whole point, the whole reason as to why the church was packed, no-one had understood. In fact no-one had cared. It wouldn't have been obvious that no-one had cared from the sight of the church, nearly the whole of East High had turned up, including Chad which had further shocked the school.

As the sun moved, it came to light up two caskets which were at the front of the church. It was such a tragedy. Most people at the church weren't sure how the parents could even stand to still be there; they had lost both of their children at the same time and it was all their fault. They couldn't let their children stay together and so they had opted to go for the only way they could think of that would eternally allow them to be together. Death.

The plan had been hastily concocted late one night about a week ago. Ryan's departure was becoming more and more imminent and the twins still hadn't managed to get through to their parents that they wanted to be together. They had decided to do it that night, so they wrote a letter to their parents explaining their forthcoming actions and got into Ryan's car.

The car sped away in full throttle and hurtled to place that both of the blond twins knew very well. The view from the top of the cliffs was beautiful but not tonight; neither twin noticed the view as the car hurtled towards the edge, Ryan's foot pressed firmly to the floor. They had held each others hand as the car went over the edge and started to fall. They had smiled at each other, both knowing that now, they could always be together. Forever. Because neither could live a lie.

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**Please review,**

**Thanks, jonesy100000000**


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